I'm a not-so-ordinary guy from the southeast corner of South Dakota. I am on a constant journey of curiosity and learning so hop aboard the blog train and let's partake in some tomfoolery!

About Golden


Today, April 28th, 2025, is my birthday. Not only is it my birthday, it's actually my golden birthday! What is a golden birthday? I guess it's when the day of the month of your birth aligns with the age you are turning... but that definition wasn't cutting it for me, I wanted something special 🎉 And this is what I came up with

Click here -> [Golden](https://jowtow.dev/music/golden)

## Background

We all know times ebb and flow between hard, less hard, good, bad, stressful. Well let's just say that coming into 2025, I've been determined to make it a good year. To quote my boy Kevin,
![Kevin Malone - It's just nice to win one](/blogphotos/kevin_malone.gif)

I started messing around in GarageBand on my MacBook, not too long ago, and started to really have fun. I have done music stuff in the past, but to be honest with you, I'm really not all that skilled when it comes to keeping time, site reading, and other actual musical skill stuff. I typically end up depending on my vocal chords (which as of late haven't been seeing much use) and my Jack Black-esque charm to get through. GarageBand is different though, it gave even someone as illiterate as me the power to make some sweet beats 🔊

After a little bit of messing around, I came up with the idea. I will write a fun, goofy song for my birthday, that also slaps. I will also film an equally as silly music video to accompany it... _and it was on_.

## Filming

If you are reading this and still haven't seen the music video, you gotta stop right now and go watch it!

Click here -> [Golden Music Video](https://youtu.be/twjHrQTQwPs?si=_tEUFoD2R4jYTZzs)

Filming took a while, but I had a fantastic film crew and some lovely folks who were willing to help. #1 best film crew member (and only film crew member) is my sweet wife Brooke. She did such a great job filming and was so supportive of me the whole way. We had an absolute blast and I'm pretty sure both of us have decided this won't be the last music video / song we work on together 😤😤😤. We filmed over the course of 3 weekends and it took time, there were various wardrobe changes, certain props that took time to find or otherwise create, and lots of laughs and extra takes along the way.

Anyone who witnessed us filming this probably either laughed a lot or considered calling the cops 🤣

## Lyrics

The lyrics might have been the most fun and easiest-for-me part of the song. I was inspired by a group I've been listening to called Joey Valance & Brae. Listen to a few of their songs and you'll be ready to lay down bars. Here they are for reference purposes.

```
I'm gold like rold and I twist like a pretzel
Breaking the mold and snapping the stencil
This free form, paint brush, no pencil
Slurpin on my soup, don't need a utensil

If I say it ,you know that I'm right
Your gold is fake like pyrite
When I ain't talking gold I'm talking chartreuse
I'll cut your head off like a Canada goose

Double Dash with me, and there won't be a truce
I'll drop a green shell, and chuck up the deuce
Smash the question block, get 3 mushrooms
Scratch that it was a golden mushroom!

Balling on you,  old school like spalding
Only 28 and I'm already balding
Only 28 and I'm covered in gold
Ice in my veins so you know that I'm cold

got a 28 carrot watch on me
'cause I bought 28 carrots at the Aldi
it cost me 25 cents To get a cart
then I copped a new fit over at the Walmart

Kettle Korn is a most delicious treat
I'll share it with you if you share it with me
treat others like you want to be treated fool
That's what jowtow calls the golden rule

If you try and find me, good luck I got stealth
The little things in life are the secret to wealth
When I'm talking wealth, I'm not talking coin
I'm talkin' sunsets and top sirloin

catch me on the block, in my fit-over shades
swamp people catchin' crocs, in the everglades
I don't like gators, not even a little bit
Ooh he's a big one, choot em elizabeth!

Cruisin' in my wagon, big diesel on fire
Looks like a work of art, no easel required
In my Phil Collins mode, no jacket required
Pops loves that guy and he just retired

But I'm not retired, I gotta keep going
Impossible to stop when these rhymes keep flowin
Until the next time you can catch me on my mobile
jowtow is golden and we're absolutely global
```

## Synopsis

Working on this project was super fun and I hope to do it again. Do me a favor and share it with someone you love, maybe they'll get a laugh out of it. Or share it with someone you really don't like, it might serve as a punishment of sorts 🤣


Road Trip

![John Car Mountains](/thumbnails/RoadTrip.jpg)

# Colorado 2024 
Ah, the age old question: What makes a good road trip?

_Here are some tips from our most recent trip._


#### 0. Don't let a wedding the day prior to vacation stop you from giving it your all on the dance floor 🕺

![Dancing](/blogphotos/CO2024/Party.jpg)

#### 1. Travel with Good Company 🚗

![Good Company](/blogphotos/CO2024/RoadTrip.jpeg)



#### 2. Reminisce. ⏪ *Below picture is at Lily Lake where I proposed to Brooke*

![Lily Lake](/blogphotos/CO2024/LilyLake.jpg)
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;



#### 3. Drink some bean juice ☕️

| ![Coffee](/blogphotos/CO2024/Coffee.jpg) | ![Coffee](/blogphotos/CO2024/Coffee2.jpeg) |
|-|-|



#### 4. Drink some juicy juice 🍸

![Brews](/blogphotos/CO2024/Brews.jpg)


![Brews](/blogphotos/CO2024/Brews2.jpg)


![Brews](/blogphotos/CO2024/Brews3.jpeg)

#### 5. Treat yourself to some rest and relaxation. Maybe even become a Mud Man. 💅


| ![Rest And Relax](/blogphotos/CO2024/RestAndRelax2.jpg) | ![Rest And Relax](/blogphotos/CO2024/Tubbin.jpg) |
|-|-|


![Rest And Relax](/blogphotos/CO2024/RestAndRelax.jpeg)


| ![Rest And Relax](/blogphotos/CO2024/Mudman2.jpeg) | ![Rest And Relax](/blogphotos/CO2024/Mudman1.jpeg) |
|-|-|


#### 6. Eat good food! 🥘

| ![Pretzel 1](/blogphotos/CO2024/BrookePretzel2.jpg) | ![Pretzel 2](/blogphotos/CO2024/JohnPretzel.jpeg) | 
|-|-|


![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/GoodFood1.jpg) 


![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/GoodFood2.jpg) 


| ![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/GoodFood3.jpg) | ![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/GoodFood7.jpeg) | 
|-|-|


| ![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/GoodFood6.jpeg) | ![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/GoodFood5.jpg) | 
|-|-|

| ![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/Canes1.jpeg) | ![Good Food](/blogphotos/CO2024/Canes2.jpeg) | 
|-|-|


#### 7. Drive amongst the clouds ☁️

![Trail Ridge Road](/blogphotos/CO2024/TrailRidgeRoad.jpg)


![Pikes Peak](/blogphotos/CO2024/PikesPeak1.jpeg)


#### 8. Do it in style 🕶️

![Style](/blogphotos/CO2024/Style1.jpeg)


![Style](/blogphotos/CO2024/Style2.jpg)


![Style](/blogphotos/CO2024/Style3.jpg)


![Style](/blogphotos/CO2024/Style4.jpg)


A huge shout out and thanks to my #1 favorite person in the world. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. Love you Brookey :)



Hotdog Sandwich


Ah, the age old question:
> Is a hotdog a sandwich?


![John Sandwich](/thumbnails/HotdogSandwich.png)

Those who have partook in the wild world of glizzy classification surely know what a beast this question is. The controversy sparked herein has been known to drive friends apart, split atoms, and break brotherly bonds. This question should be relegated to the underworld and henceforth not discussed unless all peace and sanctity be defiled. When pondering whether you should discuss this question with loved ones, coworkers, and others with whom you'd like to remain in acquaintance; take heed. Add this topic to the list of politics and religion... think twice.

Nevertheless, we desire a definitive answer. This question and  others like "Is water wet?" make even full-grown adults feel like imbeciles. We must rise above the folly of such questions. You've come to the right place, I have the answers. Read on.

## What is a sandwich?
Well then, let's get into this enigma. It is often believed that there is a prerequisite question before we can tackle "is a hotdog a sandwich?" and that prerequisite is "what is a sandwich?"... Many folks chase this tangential question and get stuck. Here are some answers I've often seen.
- A sandwich is bread that wraps around some meat (this often leads to a hotdog _being_ a sandwich)
- A sandwich consists of two slices of bread and some form of meat in the middle (this is a popular argument for a hotdog _not being_ a sandwich)

In 2006, there was even a kerfuffle between Panera and Qdoba about whether a burrito can be classified as a sandwich. The result is a legal case that declared an unambiguous definition of "sandwich". It was said that a sandwich is “two thin pieces of bread, usually buttered, with a thin layer (as of meat, cheese, or savory mixture) spread between them”. Read more here if you are interested -> https://minnesotalawreview.org/2019/02/22/constructing-the-sandwich/.

Now, I personally take great issue with the definition outlined above. I come from a mathematics and programming background and I know that we can invalidate this definition using a proof by contradiction. Informally, if we assume that a sandwich **must** consist of bread, but we also know that an ice-cream sandwich contains no bread at all, we can see that our original assumption is invalid.

Another issue with the definition outlined above is the requirement of 2 slices of bread. Every major "sandwich" shop I can think of serves sandwiches on bread that is not fully sliced through. Subway, Jersey Mike's, Cappriotti's ... the list goes on and on. Are these not sandwiches because there is only 1 contiguous piece of bread in representation?! Poppycock!

![Subway Sandwich](/blogphotos/subway.jpg)

## My definition of a sandwich
To me, a _sandwich (noun)_ is anything that is being _sandwiched (verb)_. Imagine you are in the backseat of an economy class sedan between two rugby players. You and the two rugby players have formed a rugby sandwich. No bread is involved at all! It could be argued that meat was involved in this case, but that's beside the point.
My preferred Merriam-Webster definition of sandwich (verb) is as follows:
- _to make a place for -> often used with in or between_ (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sandwich)

Notice that the definition does not exert opinions on the context of the usage of sandwich. It is a pure and beautiful definition.

## What is a hotdog?
One question that many neglect when answering "is a hotdog a sandwich?" is "what is a hotdog?". I believe that when you embark on answering this question, you are well on your way to a satisfying conclusion. Here's my take:
   
    A hotdog is a piece of processed cylindrical meat.

Notice that I also mention nothing of bread. Many jump to the conclusion that a hotdog is the combination of cylindrical meat and a bun, but take heed my friends, this is a frivolous, hasty, and incautious way to live life.

### An example
Let's suppose you and I were sitting around a campfire and you asked me to cook you a hotdog. A few minutes pass, we sing kumbaya, and I slap a cylindrical piece of meat in your hands. Besides the fact that the hotdog is likely moist and unsatisfying to touch, are you surprised? What did you expect?

I have given you exactly what you asked for: a hotdog. You may have made the assumption that I would provide a complimentary bun. I did no such thing. This is your fault. We as humans commonly refer to the entire apparatus (hotdog + bun) as just “hotdog”. This is fine, but we haven't come up with a different term for just a singular hotdog with no bun! This leads to ambiguity and ambiguity makes questions difficult to answer.

## The truth
Is a hotdog a sandwich? No! A hotdog is a cylindrical piece of processed meat!

What is a hotdog placed into a bun? A hotdog sandwich! We often abbreviate this to just "hotdog", but the true formal term for this _is_ hotdog sandwich.

### In reality
If someone asks me "is a hotdog a sandwich?" I shall henceforth ask a follow-up question in order to avoid an unneeded kerfuffle. I'll ask "is the hotdog in a bun?". If yes, then yes. If no, then no.

This has been my take. What do you think? If there's something I missed or hadn't considered, shoot me a message at jowtow.dev@gmail.com







Too Many Acronyms


Too Long Did not Read (TLDR): Acronyms are getting out of hand and we need to do something about it.

These days, people take too many shortcuts. What ever happened to verbosity? Certain tools designed to make humans more productive have actually resulted in blockers to productivity and understanding. As Seen on TV products are a great example of such tools. The Snuggie for instance is a blanket that aims to free humans' hands from the clutches of comfort. The actual result is inhibited relaxation capabilities. With your hands free, you feel inclined to do something productive, thus leaving you less relaxed than you would have been with a regular blanket. I could write a whole blog post about the Snuggie alone, but today I have a bone to pick with _acronyms_.

While acronyms aim to increase productivity and efficiency in speech, they more often leave people confused or complacent with not knowing what the acronym stands for. This leads to improper usage of acronyms and general misinformation. 

I want to disclaim that I am misusing the word acronym in some of the cases I will discuss. An acronym is technically an initialism that creates a new word-ish thing that you pronounce. For example, LASER would be an acronym because you say lay-zuhr, but LOL would be an initialism because peole typically say el-oh-el instead of lawl. I am just going to call all of these acronyms for the rest of the blog post because I can't be bothered.

## The Usage Problem
It is my firm belief that you should understand the words that make up an acronym before using it in common speech. If everyone did this, I might even like acronyms, but I gave up on that dream a long time ago. Unlike a relational database, I am not very quick at looking things up and everytime I come across an unfamiliar acronym I have to make an unwanted detour to the almighty google. While the use of an acronym may assist the writer of an article, it puts the heavy lifting on the reader. I consider this selfish and in bad taste. It's one thing if you define the acronym prior to using it, but rather condescending if you don't.

## Popular Acronyms
In some cases, an acronym is so widely known that defining it upfront may seem like a waste of time. Everyone knows LOL, FYI, BTW, and TTYL; but not everyone knows LED, OCD, or DVD. We throw these acronyms around because we think we know what they mean, but do we really? I think this really becomes a problem when the acronym becomes more popular than the underlying words that compose them.

## An Alternative
When you mix flour, eggs, and water; you create bread. Nobody calls it FEW. When someone put these three things together to create a new thing, they gave it a new name.

When you birth a child, you give it a brand new name. That child is a new and unique human, not simply the compilation of a few people. 

Why can't we do the same thing instead of acronyms? Instead of calling a Digital Video Disc a DVD, let's call it a flomp! This is so much more memorable... Once upon a time, someone looked at an amphibious creature and named that thing _frog_ and I'll be darned if they didn't nail that name. I believe we should exercise our ability to create new words!!

## Conclusion
In all reality, I understand the usefulness of acronyms as a whole; I just want fewer of them. As soon as you start working in a specialized field or diving into a niche hobby, you will inevitably run into a few acronyms you don't understand. Ultimately, acronyms should be used sparingly and in good taste. I encourage you to understand an acronym before using it. I also encourage you to teach others about acronyms when using lesser-known ones. 

TTFN, BRB with another BP. TTYL.

Big Diesel


If you were curious enough to navigate to this blog post, you're probably wondering "What is Big Diesel?". If that is in fact what you are wondering, you have come to the right place. Big Diesel is none other than my loyal compatriot, trusty steed, and ride of choice over asphalt pastures. That's right, Big Diesel is my vehicle, and I'll be spittin' if it's not the best vehicle this side of the Mississippi. Allow me to explain myself.

Big Diesel and I met in the fall of 2018. She was the successor to my once beloved Dora. Dora (the 2003 Ford Explorer) had been a wonderous vehicle, but her time had come. Ever since the day I acquired this vehicle, I've been very happy with my choice. 

\
![Big Diesel 1](/blogphotos/bigdiesel1.jpg)



Big Diesel is a 2012 Volkswagen Sportwagen TDI. She makes 140 Horsepower and 236 lb-ft of torque with an inline 4-cylinder engine and front-wheel drive. Her drink of choice is pure diesel fuel and on a good day, she'll make 40 MPG. I have hauled many large items with the help of Big Diesel including a full sized dresser and even a reclining chair. 

Another reason to love my car is that it uses synthetic oil. It's a little more expensive each time I go and get the oil changed, but I only have to go every 8-10k miles which is super nice. 

Did I mention that Big Diesel is quick? This practical vehicle has got plenty of get-up-n-go thanks to the turbsky up front. VW's TDI engines are known to last a long time. I bought Big Diesel at 52k miles and am near around 100k miles now. I wouldn't be surprised if I drive it another couple 100k.

\
![Big Diesel 2](/blogphotos/bigdiesel2.jpg)


Go get yourself a car that you love as much as I love Big Diesel.

Uncomfy Words


There are some words that simply don't sound comfy. I'm talking about those words that make you feel like you stepped on a wet spot on the kitchen floor in your favorite argile socks.

These words couldn't care less what plans you had, they are more concerned with what havoc they can wreak on society. Take a gander below:
### _Moist_
This is an understatement regarding your favorite argyle socks.

### _Bologna_
While some folks may enjoy this mystery meat, many despise it for it's spongey quality and overall terrible name. Italy rarely does wrong, but they messed up this time

### _Slit_
This word is so sharp it could bisect a sheet of loose leaf paper. Don't ever use it unless you are in a dire situation.

### _Squeamish_
This word makes me shrivel. I imagine spoiled milk that has curdled and gone off the deep end.

### _Licorice_
The English language is pretty wild, not sure how this spelling can result in a pronunciation "lick-o-rush", but when you think of it like that, it makes me wonder what I am in such a rush to lick... certainly not black licorice.

### _Excrete_
Not only is this word a chore to pronounce, but it also makes me think of things that ooze undesirably. No thanks.

### _Sausage_
 Makes me think of this....
\
![Sosig](/Sosig.jpg)
\
...enough said.


### _Creamy_
 Somewhere in between wet and soft lies creamy and that's just not great.

### Ointment
 You may be noticing a theme. 

### Belch


... more to come.


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